at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
high people should be assigned attendants
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
