I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
