the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize