Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
