"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
