I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
