Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize