Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
