LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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