Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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