Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize