what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
