you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
did you just send me my own nude
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
