how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
