she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
