guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
