I think i peed on brittanys purse
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
