Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
