i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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