Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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