You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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