I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
