his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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