you would pick up someone in the library
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
