The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
