I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
