I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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