She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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