I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
