is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
