Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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