I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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