Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
