Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
