I need help removing her.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
