My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
