am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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