I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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