And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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