Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
