Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
