What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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