batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
