just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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