We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
