Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
