God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
