Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
