I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
