I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
