we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
