I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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