I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize