when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
