you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
