i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
