I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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