This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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