God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
