My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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