She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize